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| mooOooooooo is what cows like to say. I farted. Pizza? Why do guys have urinals, and girls don't have anything special? dolphins are deadly. books have words. I like to music. peanut butter is such a dry food. sometime I like to breathe. sleep happens because beds a magical. gay is not a synonym for stupid or retarded, but i still use it like it is. car seats with arm rests are so courteous. LOWERCASE! caps! 1 zomg zerglings! spit balls of fire, you're nose is a liar! i like phillipe petit. why are there ways to spell numbers with letters, but no way to produce words with numbers? 1337 doesn't count 1)@$ $0M3 G@Y$H17
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| Dear Future Desmond
This is a list of goals I have placed for you to reach by the end of this academic year.
1. Compete in at least one amateur (or professional?) Mixed Martial Arts tournament.
Whether you win or lost is not important. It's the experience, and relief of tension. The tension of your passion and skill, and putting it to practice and application. Years of combat theory and philosophy will not longer be wasted.
Remember all the times you were bullied for being that short skinny nerdy Asian kid? Being thrown and pushed around. Here is the chance to show you are that success story. Yes you are probably academically stupid now, but you sure as hell will know how to put up a fight.
Remember all the times you lost your temper and reacted physically? Temper is a problem amongst the Teochew. Bruce Lee mentioned the exercise of controlled anger combat. Use your anger in a constructive way.
You will achieve this goal by keeping in top physical condition at all times. Train twice a week at UH MMA when possible, and twice a week in your Combative Sports class. Balance endurance, strength and muscle mass training. Do not back down. Do not eat shitty foods. Push your mind and body to higher limits. Only then will you be prepared.
2. Complete recognized violin repertoire, and possibly audition for a music school.
Whether you are accepted or not is not important. It's to say that you were able to do it, and show you had the potential. Music is the expression of soul, and you will finally be able to say that your dedication to higher level musicianship paid off. It will take you one stop closer to mastering the art of expressing your soul.
Remember all the musicians who said you couldn't do it? The professor that doubted your abilities for your lack of professional coaching (due to family income). Here is your chance to show that a violinist, who went to an average school in Richmond, without the money to take violin lessons, can outperform the ones who had better backgrounds. You started much later then the others, but you boomed in talent. In only a few years, you were able to perform musical pieces of virtuoso levels without help or lessons. You did it on your own, and it's time to show others that it is possible too. You can be average, and be great. Let the world know that you can make something out of nothing. After all, that's how God created the world right?
Remember all the times you doubted yourself? You were reluctant to compete because you felt inadequate. When really, you were probably beyond adequate. It is a matter of passion and dedication. Talent is not born, it is a gift you give yourself.
You will achieve this goal by practicing your concerto (Symphony Espagnol) every morning or evening. Break it down into parts phrases until the notes are muscle memory. From there, it will be easy breezy, so put your heart into it. Also brush up on the intonation of your show piece (Ziguernerweisen or Zapateado) and strive for pinpoint accuracy on your Unaccompanied Bach. A slow moment of a concerto is preferable also. Add a Paganini in there too.
Please read the above frequently. And most importantly, please do them! Don't waste anymore time! Be something great!
Other goals which you may choose to do if you have time are...
- pass your college classes finally you stupid fuck
- sound like Hendrix on the guitar
- learn to sing, and not sound like a dying duck
- take some good pictures with your DSLR
- be a more supportive friend
- be more proficient in public speaking
- find more goals to do
- get off Facebook and write your essay
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| Why did I even buy a DSLR? I'm not even that proficient in photography, I'll never make a job out of it. What is there even to take pictures of today anyways?
College? Face it. No one likes college. It's expensive, they treat your schedule like shit, everything is hectic. They make money while we suffer. Everyone misses home, and everyone at home wants to get out.
How about majors? Everyone I know is aiming to be a nurse, engineer, pharmacist, or business person. Where is the creativity? Bring back Master and Apprenticeship!
And what the hell do I do? I don't know what I want to do, so I don't know what degree to pick. So why the hell am I in college? And why do people think they know what's best for me and think I should just do music and get it over with. All of high school, people told me to do music. I hated how people didn't even care about music in High School and I hate musical notes that are out of tune. Why would I choose to go through that everyday as a career?
We masturbate our minds until the day of our decay. What are the purpose of careers? People drown themselves in a job they think will be beneficial to their life. We serve others so we can make other serve us. An endless slave trade with fake tokens of happiness we call money. We work to live. Why can't we just live to live? Society forces us to believe we need to find a purpose. Isn't our very existence a purpose? | | |
| In the end, we realized that no matter where we came from, how we were raised, or what we have become, that we are all the same. We are all more alike then we know, and we share the common human need of affection. Your eyes cry out. Look into me, and see that I am neither greater or lesser then you. That we are all the same suffering generation of souls, fighting to survive, and fighting for love. Maybe that way, the world can finally unite and realize that we are in need of each other to fix these broken souls. | | |
| You hear the word "friend" too many times, until you realize how much you hate it. I hate the word friend. It is a misnomer. It is misleading. It is a temporary comradery.
My mind is slowly bleeding into another world. I used to hear words in music, and visualized my art with scrutinizing reality and detail. Now, my pen only draws things that no one sees. The art is nothing, it is only ambiguous . Lines and patterns, but never a thing. Music is motions and feeling. Pulsating and pressure. I don't hear the words in music anymore. I have no idea what they are singing. Just feel the movement of it, and get lost. I find myself driving, or with friends, and slowly my mind gets lost. I don't know where I am. No sound or vision. Just sensation and ambiance. A mind of a thousand puzzle pieces. None of the pieces fit each other. The ingredients for a soup of over a hundred spices. This canvas will be painted with colors never seen before. Broken vase with the blood of roses seeping around the shards. Baggage. Where am I? You come back to reality realizing you have somewhere to go. But the temporary vacation was not bad itself.
I had a dream where I got stopped by many hitchhikers. There were over ten people sitting the back of my van, each with a destination and a problem that followed them. As I drove them, I helped them find the solution to their burdens. Addiction, temper issues, etc. By the time they got off my "bus", they were liberated. Can people in reality truly be liberated as well? Do people ever get well?
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